Taking the Lolita Plunge

I have been stalking Lolita fashion for all my life- and I'm 39 years old.

While "Lolita" or "Gothic Lolita" ar "Elegant Gothic Lolita" wasn't even on my radar until 2004 or '05, I have spent my life loving the sort of ahistorically-historical, uber-frilly, hyperfeminine clothing that defines Lolita style. I've always loved things that were small, cute, and delicate-looking, and this carried over to fashion. Even when I went through a "tomboy" phase (how I hate that term), I still loved my pastel colors, cute animals, food-themed accessories, and ruffles. I'm not sure why, exactly- in future posts, I will attempt to work through the attraction kawaii culture holds for me in general- but I do know that whatever drives me to cuteness is embedded deep in my DNA.

When I first started seeing Lolita fashion, I was smitten, but  I was also realistic. The high prices, the primitive state of international internet sales, and the generally bewildering, arbitrary, (and tiny) sizing of most "brand" clothing made Lolita pretty to look at, but out of reach. So I waited.

Last summer, I went to a Hello Kitty 40th Anniversary event in town (shout out to Yoki at the River Market), and much to my surprise, I saw Lolitas there. Real, in-the-flesh Lolitas. In Kansas City!

I was now on a mission.

I tracked down these rare and adorable birds to their "Kansas City Lolitas" Facebook page... and commenced stalking some more. Because I was determined to find where they found their clothes, and start my own Lolita odyssey.

Last Sunday,  I went to my first KC Lolitas meetup. It was adorable. They were adorable. I was adorable. Everything was SO frickin' adorable, my emojis had emojis.

Going Lolita has been (and will likely continue to be) full of revelations. 

Things I did not expect:

1. The availability of Lolita fashion in the US. Lace Market? Never heard of it before a few weeks ago. Closetchild? What is that? Bodyline? Dear, sweet, affordable Bodyline, with sizes galore? I stumbled across them by accident.

2. The "snobbishness" of Lolita. Really, I guess I stupidly expected Lolita to be one great big tea party. According to the websites I've read, it isn't. Apparently, some Lolitas can be quite snobbish about "brand" clothes, and judgemental about people's outfits. Apparently raschel lace is gauche, black-with-white-lace is a horrible offense, cheaper makers (like my beloved Bodyline) are to be scorned, and everyone you think looks bad is an "Ita".

3. A local group and area Lolita activities. Really? In KC?

4. Male Lolis. Yep, there are guys who dress Lolita, and I love it!

Things I expected, but did not come to pass:

1. The local scene to be dominated by teenagers. As soon as I heard there were Lolitas in the area,  I assumed they were ansty teenagers who had branched out from the cosplay scene.

2. Being ridiculed for my dress in public. I was terrified regular people would scoff at me. As far as I know, no one did.

3. To be told I was "doing it wrong". See #2 above.

Things I expected, that did bear out:

1. A high degree of interest in kawaii, design, and visual art in general among Lolis. I can't speak for all Lolis, but the ones I've met so far seem to have an eye for other manifestations of kawaii, and an appreciation for beauty in general.

2. Most of the Lolis I met were considerably younger than me. Not teens per se but lots of twentysomethings. This is NOT an old woman's game.

3. Stories of creepy people confusing Lolita style with Lolita the book by Nabokov, and mistaking women's bodies as public property, especially when they aren't conforming to society's "standard" female uniform.

Like everything in life, Lolita is simultaneously more/ less than what it seems. Lolita is just like regular life- only cuter!